Stuff

Currently i'm house sitting and don't have too much to report on. The house I'm staying at does'nt have broadband. So it's back to dialup, I must have been very patient when I used dial-up, mind you, you can do all sorts of things while waiting for that page to load, clip your toe nails, have another cup of coffee.

Not much else has happened except I have found out that trying to take the "fast way" home by trying to walk up steep damp grassy slopes after a few diet fantas does not neccesarily get you home any quicker.

Oh yes I may write some more driving guides but first I'll fix the spelling mistakes.

Internet Security Norton Style

Some people love Norton Internet Security, and why not it's an all-in-one protection system for your computer.  I don't like a hears why.

• It taks up a vast amount RAM and with every new release it gets bigger and ever more complicated.  Which leads to point 2
• It's seems to be very easy to disable bits of or at least bugger it up enough that using your machine becomes painful.  Virus writers always target Norton products.  Norton responds by making it int a larger Hairball, which leads to point 3
• It basically is a Virus, anything that takes over your machine, uses all the RAM and turns machines into snails is normally be classed as a virus. Except this one comes in a nice box and you pay money for it.  Nice huh

Why am I bitching, its because I have to fix machines that have been infected by it. Like some viruses it can be extremely difficult to get rid of.  My advice if you have time and are moderately sane is to try something else, except  Mc Afee, but I wont start going on about that.

A Guide to Driving in Nelson

The Basics

Thets start with the controls. On the drivers side you will finds some objects in front of you. These are used to control the car. The round thing in front of you is the steering wheel, you can use it to turn or you can turn by bouncing off objects you drive into.

To your left is the gear lever which allows you to go backwards and forwards. If you look in the foot well there are 2 or 3 pedals. If you have 3 pedals your car does not change gear by magic, you will need to push in the left pedal to change gear otherwise your car will growl at you and stop working. The next pedal allows you to stop this generally helps you not crash in to things in front of you. The pedal on the right allows you to go faster the harder you push the faster you can go. It is used in conjunction with the brake pedal but not at the same time.

On the steering wheel are various levers for bits which are of no importance such as indicators, lights and window washers.

Driving in Nelson

When in 50 km/h area do 70 to be on the safe side. Likewise when a 100 km/h area do 50 this way you never exceed the speed limit on average.

When pulling out , if the road is quiet wait until a another road user is near and pull right out in front of them and drive as slowly as possible. If the road is busy make sure you cut off traffic going both ways.

Indicating is completely optional and not recommended as you may not be first in line anymore. Lights should be left on high beam at all times if you can find them.

Boyracers

Yes new age bogans are plentiful in Nelson. To be a proper Nelson boy racer you either a Subaru WRX or Nissan Skyline, badly painted Matt Black. You must have a massive exhaust that sounds like you have a terminal case of flatulence and big waste gate that sounds like a sneeze. Yes your car will sound really "sick".

You also need a crap stereo with massive speakers and have the volume set at cerebellum destroying levels with all the windows down so everybody else can enjoy your fine tastes.

Having beer in the car is a good idea especially if its Flame brand as it's good for throwing at pedestrians, cyclists and anybody else in your way.

By following these guide lines you will fit in just fine.